Judith: Sonia, you now we love you here. But lately your sales have been slipping. We’re really concerned. Me: OK… I’ll bring them up. Judith: Well… you said that last month and your sales are still very low. Me: Honestly, I think it’s the economy. People just aren’t as interested in buying knife sets as they used to be. Judith: You have two weeks to bring up your sales. Me: Or… Judith: Just bring them up. You don’t want to find out what the or is.
Two weeks later. On a street corner in Lakeview.
Me: ♫ Get some froyo. Come and get some get some froyo. I love froyo. I know you do too yo. ♫ Child: Mommy, why is that lady dressed like a blueberry? Mother: Because she made some bad life decisions, honey. Come along. It’s not polite to stare.
Amee: So you’re moving to Logan Square.. but you’re not not a hipster. Me: I am not. It’s a nice neighborhood and the apartment is nice yet reasonably priced. Amee: Any good coffee shops? Me: OMG, you have to go New Wave Coffee on Milwaukee and Logan. They have these amazing almond croissants and coffee beans from… wait… Amee: I think I’ve made my point. Me: That was a dirty trick.
Mom: But the job offers health care… benefits? You don’t want benefits???
Me: I don’t want their oppressive work schedule. Can’t you see? The comfort, stability, and predictability of a “real job” lulls people into a corporate death, then before they know it they’re 66 and at their work retirement party.
Mom: So benefits are… oppressive?
Me: Stove just blew up, Mom… got to go.
Mom: Right. You do realize if that actually happen, your medical bills would be astronomical… unless you had health coverage.
Me: I spent most of the day wandering the city lost. Even in places I go all the time. Brenda: Why is that? Me: I guess the city is different once the weather doesn’t suck. Brenda: Really… Do you have anything you want to say to me? Me: Well… I suppose I’m sorry for telling you to go fuck yourself when you told me it’s a different city in Spring and Summer. Brenda: Totally uncalled for. Me: Chicago brings out the worst in me.